Epic rap on how to make a cup of tea

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  • 10 months ago
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itisneverlupus:

cockteaseofthelord:

ireallyhatecornnuts:

cockteaseofthelord:

ireallyhatecornnuts:

itisneverlupus:

ireallyhatecornnuts:

cockteaseofthelord:

cap-gamelamer:

tangedolium:

WAIT IS IT ACTUALLY GENUINELY A THING THAT AMERICANS DON’T HAVE KETTLES?

BUT THEN HOW DO THEY MAKE TEA?!

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Hello this is my kettle that came from Walmart.

I actually have an electric teakettle which is, I’m told, what the vast majority of British households have in place of a coffee percolator. 

It was a pain in the ass to find and kind of expensive. Worth it, though, cuz I can make tea, instant oatmeal, instant coffee if I’m feeling like Starbucks Via (I have a bunch of it for reasons I’d rather not get into), ramen and cup noodles, and a variety of things with that teakettle. 

But yeah most American households do not have an electric teakettle, and a lot of them don’t even have stovetop ones. Sorry, brits. 

That really does baffle me a lot, because the electric kettle spread to the colonies as well. It’d be the height of bad manners not to ‘put the jug on’ and offer a hot drink to visitors over here. Electric jugs/kettles are the norm and they’re SUPER fucking convenient. 

Need to boil water quickly for a recipe? Turn on the jug.
Cup of tea required almost immediately? Turn on the jug.
Instant coffee? Turn on the jug.
Cup noodles? Jug.

I would die without my janky as fuck old electric jug.

In America almost no one drinks hot tea as like a comfort food. When company comes over you offer them a Coke or some water or coffee. 

I think that’s where the difference lay.

I drink a lot of tea so I have an electric kettle. When I found out that they exist - that’s right, most Americans LITERALLY DO NOT REALIZE ELECTRIC KETTLES ARE A THING - I immediately set out to find one. They’re kind of a niche product in most places, although I think they’re more common in large port cities.

I’ve had, “ELECTRIC KETTLE,” on my birthday wish list for years now, and my family just doesn’t see the point on hot tea.

On top of being American, we’re also Southern, which means that everyone here thinks tea should be served cold with sugar and lemon.

Now, I like my iced tea (no lemon, thanks) but hot tea is my thing. I’d prefer to have a cup of hot tea in the morning instead of a cup of coffee.

An electric kettle would be ideal, because my stove top kettle is a pain in the ass. But at least I have a kettle.

My boss keeps a kettle at work, too.

I got my kettle for $12 at walmart and it was the last one in stock and the last one they ever had in stock. 

I wanted it so badly and didn’t have the cash and then I put a dollar in a machine and hit four aces betting three nickels and suddenly I had $20 and I ran to go buy it before someone else did. 

I was meant to have that kettle. Do not rely on other people for kettle. Get kettle on your own.

I’m looking at them on walmart and target’s websites. They keep throwing the damn Hamilton Beach ice tea maker in the list and I’m just yelling, “THAT IS NOT THE THING I WANT”

KIERAN. TWELVE DOLLAR TEA KETTLE ON AMAZON. BUY THE THING. 

For many years I couldn’t find a kettle that wasn’t electric here, but I got my first stove top whistling kettle a few years ago and it just gets the water so much hotter than the electric jugs! Much better for my black tea ^_^ also they look adorable. 

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